Savior

“You’re doing it again.”

The admonition came gently, almost playfully. He didn’t have to tell me what it was that I was doing. I knew.

After having prayed the “Search me and know me” Psalm (139:23), I was ready to be reproved. But it wasn’t until some time later that the Lord spoke to my heart and said it: “You’re doing it again.” I smiled to myself, guilty as charged … and maybe just a little embarrassed.

“Sam, let me be the savior.”

You see, I’ve got a bit of a Savior Complex. I find a need in someone–be it companionship, heartbreak, a lack of understanding. Bingo. I can fill that need! Here I am, send me! I can, one person at a time, save the world.

Or so my heart thinks.

What’s so wrong with that? Well, nothing–except that the intent is all backward. Sure, it may start out loving. My heart really does fill with compassion, especially for those who suffer with depression or any other mental affliction. My heart breaks for them because I know what it feels like. The utter hopelessness, the senseless pain–the feeling of being completely abandoned. Often there’s no cause for it, which often leads others to say things that don’t really help: “C’mon, cheer up!” or my personal (least) favorite: “You know, a lot of other people have it much worse than you.” A long time ago I came across an article on how Christians should respond to the grief of others, and I was completely hooked: “Weep with those who weep, laugh with those who laugh.” And so I began to weep with others.

But something happens in the middle. Something twists. What began as heartfelt compassion and a desiree to ease someone’s pain turns into something else. Oh, it’s a subtle twist, to be sure–but all of the dangerous things are. It becomes self-serving. Just how can self-sacrifice turn self-serving? In the intent. Somewhere in the middle, a need of my own emerges: the need to feel important and needed. If I can “save” someone, then I can justify my existence. And maybe, just maybe–if I’m lucky–someone will need me. Looking at our intents is also an exercise in guarding our hearts (see Proverb 4:23).

The problem lies in the fact that the answer to my need and the other person’s need doesn’t lie in me: it lies with and in the true Savior, who is Christ our Lord. He is the only one who can completely fill the void, and all of our needs were designed to lead us to Him.

And there’s more to be said of the consequences of trying to be the savior: it will run you ragged. What if someone accepts you as their savior? Quite often, you’ll be at their beck and call–placing yourself in an overwhelming position. The weight of their world quite literally is on your back. No one can stand to carry someone else’s cross forever–and sometimes, we’re simply not meant to at all. In some cases, you wound your own heart by being taken for granted by the very person you’re trying to save. Oh, how broken we are as humans.

I don’t like to admit it, but the truth of the matter is that no matter how willing I am to help, I am broken. I can barely carry my cross, let alone the crosses of several others! In my brokenness, no matter how noble my intentions might be in helping, there stands the (very good) chance that I will fail. Our amazing Savior takes on the weight of the whole world, in perfect love! And guess what–He will never fail you! I certainly can’t live up to those standards … nor was I ever meant to.

Another dangerous consequence is that you might just be hindering them from seeking God’s help. It’s easy to go to someone earthly. But again, our needs are meant to point us to the cross of Christ … for Him to pour out His power and love and bring healing to us.

Now, I’m not suggesting here that we aren’t meant to help out our brothers and sisters in Christ. We certainly are. I’m suggesting that we watch our intentions. Don’t step on the toes of the One whose feet, hands and side were pierced for our transgressions. Let us remember to look to–and help others to look to–the only one who fulfills and the only one who can truly live up to the title, “Savior.” Remember when Simon stepped in to carry Jesus’ cross during the passion? He carried it long enough to allow the Savior of the World to regain His strength and then continue on to Calvary. I think we can learn a lot from that scene in our daily lives. Jesus finished the work.

So … what CAN I do to help a broken world? What SHOULD I do? Lead them to the Cross. Pray for them. Act in kindness, but with the knowledge that Christ is the Bread of Life, the Living Water and the Way, the Truth and the Life. Not me. And I can ask the Lord how I can help Him. Maybe it means helping the other person bear their cross. Maybe it means offering encouragement.

Lord Jesus, forgive me for once again trying to be the “Savior,” and for loving people for my own selfish gain–and in doing so, not looking to you to fulfill my emptiness. Help me to remember to lead others to you in their emptiness. You are the only one who fulfills and you have overcome the world. Purify my love for others so that I can love them the way that You love.